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Literature Text
If you're lucky, as a child these things are always sweet.
No one could force hard cider on you, only apple juice.
And though you had to endure the tart taste of beets,
It was a healthy young man they were trying to produce.
I know your mind sometimes wanders back to your first kiss
I know your mind sometimes wanders back to your first kiss
And whether miss thing still lives on that street.
But for me, it's always felt like a sin to reminisce.
Even left overs from lunch I don't reheat.
Take my advice. Don't drink it if it's beyond its shelf life.
Literature
Midnight Air
The world freezes in the arms of Time,
As if holding its breath, waiting for something –
Anything – to happen before the morning bells chime,
But there is nothing except a distant cricket-song and my own breathing
I gaze into the sky, sprinkled with stars like fragmented glass,
Stretching into a world undisturbed by mankind;
And as my toes curl into damp grass,
I contemplate the angelic world overhead, undefined.
A star is born every time we dream –
The sky never holds the same constellations twice
For we evolve, causing the night to gleam
With wonders and hopes of paradise
Literature
Story Time
Where honey bees blend into sunsets
They sit in a crooked circle
Writing non-love poems
Writing stories
Writing the lives of the living they never knew
As documents or poems or journal entries
Encoded with flavors only the pen knows
And curiously
They pass those words down the line
They read
They think
And pass the papers back, then begin again
With a new dream, speckled with what they know now
Like nascent freckles in the wrinkles of a sun-worn face.
Literature
Grace
The hands that cast the mould that made the plough
that dug the dirt for crops to make the dough
that makes our bread - they let us grow.
The souls who drive the trucks each waking hour
from farm to store to shop give us our power -
it makes them dead - and we devour.
Each morsel grows from dirt to plant to food
we tear a piece and sell so it's construed
we do our bit - we don't - we just collude.
And while each toiler keeps us from our graves
so we keep them trapped in their enclaves,
to tell ourselves each night - we don't own slaves.
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A Sonnet Petite I wrote for Send a Sonnet 2017- www.deviantart.com/journal/Pro…
I'm glad I got to participate and try something new. It definitely isn't perfect so I'd love some feedback on how I did and how I could improve it. It's not a very romantic poem but I dedicate it to my boyfriend who is the only person that knows I write and is always encouraging me to do my best and try new things.
I'm glad I got to participate and try something new. It definitely isn't perfect so I'd love some feedback on how I did and how I could improve it. It's not a very romantic poem but I dedicate it to my boyfriend who is the only person that knows I write and is always encouraging me to do my best and try new things.
© 2017 - 2024 irdormir
Comments25
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A sonnet petit getting a DD? Progress! Very glad you got this on a style that you're trying for the first time; keep on working on your craft!
In general I really like the message of the piece, and you do a great job having an encouraging tone without being pedantic. I do think that to take this to the next level though, you may need to be more rigorous with your meter. The lines are a bit long and irregular, which prevents it from getting a smooth rhythm and sometimes obscures the good parts of what you want to say. It doesn't mean it's gotta be impeccable iambic pentameter (though that is the convention for sonnets in general), but a look into tightening the prosody of the work will really elevate it.
In general I really like the message of the piece, and you do a great job having an encouraging tone without being pedantic. I do think that to take this to the next level though, you may need to be more rigorous with your meter. The lines are a bit long and irregular, which prevents it from getting a smooth rhythm and sometimes obscures the good parts of what you want to say. It doesn't mean it's gotta be impeccable iambic pentameter (though that is the convention for sonnets in general), but a look into tightening the prosody of the work will really elevate it.